Supporting a bereaved child can be exhausting and bewildering, particularly if you are grieving yourself. It may be helpful for you to know more about bereavement in childhood, and to find sources of local and national support.
A group of bereaved children and young people working with Seasons for Growth (Scotland) a CBN Subscriber, have come up with a list of suggestions about how parents and carers could support their bereaved child. Your child may find some of these approaches helpful: you could print them off and talk about which ones might work for you both now and in the future.
To my parent or carer, please..
...talk to me honestly and explain about what has happened in a way I can understand. I may need more information and reassurance.
Talk to me about the funeral and how I can be included. It will help me to remember and say goodbye. Try to include me in decisions and give me choices.
Inform the school about my loss and find out who I can talk to in school if I need some help. Help me get back into school by talking to me about what additional support I may need. It may be difficult for me to leave home.
Notice if I am feeling lonely and find out about groups for children and young people coping with loss and change.
Remind me that I am not to blame and that it's not my fault although I may need to talk about this.
Help me keep memories alive by talking and remembering, especially on anniversaries. There will be things I need to remember and others that I want to forget.
Let me keep something that belonged to...........[the person who has died].
Give me a hug.
Help me to have fun and laugh sometimes. This does not mean I am 'over it, have 'forgotten' or 'couldn't care'.
Give me space but talk to me if you are worried I am not eating properly or having sleep or other problems, so we can do something about it together.
Arrange for me/us to get extra help if I am feeling stuck and overwhelmed.
Please understand that this is for now and my needs will change. Please check up on this as time moves on. Thanks for reading and for trying these. They do help me although it may not always appear so.
