Children's reactions to the death of someone closeChildren's reactions to bereavement are affected by many factors to do with them, their family, what has happened and other circumstances.
(Dyregrov, A (1991) Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults London: Jessica Kingsley Publisher) Maryam was two when her father died. She became quite clingy and her mother had difficulty getting her off to sleep - that had always been her father's job. She also went back to her nappies although she'd been potty trained. Her mother sometimes felt it was two steps forward and one step back. Gary started school a couple of months after his grandmother died. He was tearful at the school gates every day and his parents weren't sure whether this was because of school nerves or because he was sad about his grandmother. He kept asking for the story of what happened to her, over and over again. Tori's best friend died when they were fifteen. Tori couldn't believe it at first and felt as if she was walking around in a daze. She found it difficult revising for her exams although she wanted to make her friend proud. When she started at college she found she was losing her temper really easily - she felt angry that her friend hadn't had the opportunities she was getting and got irritated by people at college who seemed immature. Chris's twin brother died suddenly when they were eight. They'd had an argument that afternoon and Chris was sad that the last things he'd said to his brother had been mean. He kept going over the afternoon again and again in his head, wishing it had been different. His teacher helped by encouraging him to write a letter to his brother, writing down all the things he wished he'd said that day. Bereavement is a major life change and while it can be upsetting to see these reactions in a child you care for, it is not surprising. With acknowledgement and support from parents. carers. friends, teachers and others around them, children can find ways to manage their grief. |
